I put in bold some verses that speak about strife. Strife is a heart issue. It originates with the bitter roots of pride, jealousy, hatred, unforgiveness etc. Strife causes us so much trouble, but often we don't see it coming in time to stop the destruction to relationships and the resulting pain in the soul. As we grow as a church (in people and in ministry) we have to be able to identify the bad fruit of bitter roots in our own hearts. We want to be a safe spiritual family. We also have to confront strife and practice the Biblical principles of correction and submission to each other. I really believe that the churches that will see the biggest harvest in these uncertain days are the ones that value unity enough to protect it (see early church in Acts). My heart needs these verses. I want my family (Emily, Benjamin, Susanna) and my spiritual family to enjoy great success and peace. Not one without the other (see verse 1).
Proverbs 17 (New King James Version)
1 Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife.
2 A wise servant will rule over a son who causes shame, And will share an inheritance among the brothers.
3 The refining pot is for silver and the furnace for gold, But the LORD tests the hearts.
4 An evildoer gives heed to false lips; A liar listens eagerly to a spiteful tongue.
5 He who mocks the poor reproaches his Maker; He who is glad at calamity will not go unpunished.
6 Children’s children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father.
7 Excellent speech is not becoming to a fool, Much less lying lips to a prince.
8 A present is a precious stone in the eyes of its possessor; Wherever he turns, he prospers.
9 He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.
10 Rebuke is more effective for a wise man Than a hundred blows on a fool.
11 An evil man seeks only rebellion; Therefore a cruel messenger will be sent against him.
12 Let a man meet a bear robbed of her cubs, Rather than a fool in his folly.
13 Whoever rewards evil for good, Evil will not depart from his house.
14 The beginning of strife is like releasing water; Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.
15 He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, Both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD.
16 Why is there in the hand of a fool the purchase price of wisdom, Since he has no heart for it?
17 A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
18 A man devoid of understanding shakes hands in a pledge, And becomes surety for his friend.
19 He who loves transgression loves strife, And he who exalts his gate seeks destruction.
20 He who has a deceitful heart finds no good, And he who has a perverse tongue falls into evil.
21 He who begets a scoffer does so to his sorrow, And the father of a fool has no joy.
22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones.
23 A wicked man accepts a bribe behind the back To pervert the ways of justice.
24 Wisdom is in the sight of him who has understanding, But the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth.
25 A foolish son is a grief to his father, And bitterness to her who bore him.
26 Also, to punish the righteous is not good, Nor to strike princes for their uprightness.
27 He who has knowledge spares his words, And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
28 Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.
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4An evildoer listens to wicked lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.
What we listen to affects us greatly. I can testify to this. The majority of my life, I listened to lies about myself. I meditated on these lies and allowed them to shape who I became. Instead of going to God’s Word for truth, I trusted in the words that I had heard all of my life. I believed that I had no future and no hope. I believed that I was a mistake. That I was worthless. That no one could really love me. And the list goes on and on.
Until I changed what I listened to, I was hopeless. I had to replace those lies with truths in God’s Word. I had to re-train my mind to think thoughts that pleased God and thoughts that lined up with His Word. I wrote verses down on note cards that addressed all of the lies that crept up in my mind. And honestly – I still have to reference those from time to time. But the wonderful thing is that God’s Word healed me. There is power in quoting Scripture! And God can restore our minds if we will choose to listen to Him!
What we listen to is so important. I want to listen to Godly counsel and to Truth. I want to fill my mind with words that echo God’s thoughts for me. I want to meditate on things that please Him. I do not want to be like the evildoer who listens to wicked lips or the liar who pays attention to a destructive tongue! I want to listen to the Lord, be in constant fellowship with Him, and surround myself with people who are running after Him.
Verse 14: "The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts".
When I hear this it makes me think of a dam breaking, even if it starts as a minute crack, that crack can spread releasing more and more water and as more water is released, more force is exerted by the water. The same is true of strife, if a quarrel is allowed to start, the water is released! This is another reason we must give God unhindered access to our hearts, He will show us when contention and strife are beginning so that we can head it off and end it before a quarrel starts.
Strife effects our entire lives. It is impossible to grow in strife. I can remember as a teenager fighting with my mother on Sunday mornings about my clothes, hair, make-up, etc. By the time we got to church, were exhausted from fueding. During this time, I did not gain much from the services. Now that I am older, I realize that strife is something Satan uses to keep us from receiving God's word. In college, I had a roommate that made my life miserable. We were constantly in strife over something. Then, I moved out and found the two greatest roommates ever. What a difference it was not to live in constant strife and conflict! I am thankful that I work in a school where strife is not an issue. At home, there is noone there to argue with but the dogs or the bird. However, as Anne said the words we say to and listen to about ourselves can cause strife within our lives and thus prevent spiritual growth.
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